Reflections of Life ...

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When, amidst all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
    And like a child quieted after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to decrease, you shudder once or twice, you blink your eyes and a coat of wet lashes you begin to see the world through new eyes.
    This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness and security to come galloping over the horizon next. You just accept the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there are not always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
    You wake up to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you ... and that's OK. (They have their own views and opinions.)
    You learn that people do not always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and it's not always about you.
    And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should do and what you need to where and how you should live and what to do for a living, who you should sleep with who you marry, and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
    You learn that it really is in giving that we receive. And there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life as a mere "consumer" looking for your next dose.
    You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you do not know everything, this is not your job to save the world and you can not teach a pig to sing.
    You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
    You learn that the cross would bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How love, how to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on the arm or the child that bears your name.
    You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you wish they were. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
    You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love ... and you know you have no right to demand love on your terms ... just to make you happy.
    And you learn that alone does not mean lonely ...
    And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image in your head and agonizing over how you "stack .
    You just realize that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch ... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
    And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you start to care and treat him with respect. You start a balanced diet, drinking more water and take more time to exercise.
    You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and play.
    You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve ... and that much of life is really a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working and want something to happen is different from working for its realization.
    More importantly, you learn that to succeed you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that nobody can do it alone and it's OK to risk asking for help.
    You learn to fight for your life and not wasting live under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life is not always fair, you do not always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people.
    On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You will learn that God is not punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It is life fair. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primitive to me.
    You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they choke the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to recognize when you are wrong and to build bridges rather than walls.
    You learn to be thankful and take comfort in the most simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people on earth can only dream of, a large refrigerator, running water, a warm bed and Sweet, a long hot shower.
    Gradually, you begin to take responsibility for you for yourself and make you a promise never to betray you and never settle for less than the desire of your heart.
    And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
    And you make a point to keep smiling, to keep trust and remain open to all possibilities wonderful. Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a position, you take a deep breath and begin designing the life you want to live as best you can.

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